Thursday, July 05, 2007

Dear Newest Least-Favorite Neighbor

Dear Ca-Ca-Poo-Poo-Face,

I realize that it is the 4th of July, and I also realize that with your pupils so dilated that you look like Gullum do to all of the drugs in your system right now that fireworks are preternaturally beautiful with their flashing colors and sparkly bits, and that the accompanying wall of sonic assault is really "helping you roll". However, it's 3 in the morning and I feel that I should point out now that the only difference between the popping sound of poorly managed fireworks and the popping sound of small arms fire in a hard-to-escape second floor apartment is the bloody mess your landlord will find in the morning.

Congratulations are in order as you've now replaced the smelly hobbits downstairs as my least favorite waste of oxygen! Expect your ticking care package within two-six weeks.

Sincerely,

-Z-

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