Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Letter to the Editor

I'm finished with harboring rancor for the people whom I feel I have been wronged by. The short-sighted ex, the two-faced friend, and the sleazy bosses who used me as a placeholder. I see these people out and about and cannot say anything to them because my chest seizes up with loathing and loss. The silence I hold inside of myself is like a vice. It crushes the air from my lungs and the words from my mouth, words that left unspoken continue to bore into my psyche like angered maggots, slowly devouring my nobility.

A man I once worked for said to me that hating someone is like drinking poison every night before you sleep. It can only ever kill you, and leaves your nemesis unchanged.

So I have to let all of this go. I have to find the path that allows me to keep who I am and still lets me to cast off this weight of antipathy I've been carrying for the past month. I have to remind myself to see these people as people. People composed of infinite flaws and infinite possibility, the two things that make us great and beautiful creatures. I have to remind myself that we all do what we believe to be right, none of us thinks we are monsters, and none of us know the mistakes we make until they are cold and buried in the tomb of our personal history. To continue to define any other person in my life by the mistakes they have made will only lessen me as a person, and it's not something I'm willing to do.

So I'm sending all of this destructive pathos out into the world as a letter, signed with hope rather than tears.



Anonymous Jonny -JonJon- Lazerbeams said...

"she taught me how to wage cold war with quiet charm
but i just want to walk through my life unarmed.
to accept, and just get by like my father learned to do,
but without all the acceptance of getting by that got my father through..."

that is for you Ass-piss..
I know just how u feel.

1:03 PM, May 24, 2006  
Blogger zortnac said...

This is a significant reflection, something you come back to later and measure how you feel you've held yourself to personal goals and decisions. I hope you're doing well with this.

1:07 PM, June 15, 2006  

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